Wednesday, 8 February 2017

Fur The Emperor

This is too good not to share!
From this week's Imperial Standard;

Attention Guardsman,

It has come to our attention that the more unscrupulous of you have been using the pelts, hides and even skins of fallen xenos beasts to supplement the warmth* afforded by your combat fatigues. This is unacceptable.

Some may question why such restraint is required, but it is our conduct on the battlefield, and our ability to maintain valorous composure even in the most horrendous of circumstances, that separates us from the filthy Orks, the wretched Eldar and the foul forces of the Archenemy.

But let us not forget, this is the 41st Millennium. We are beset on all sides by the mutant, the heretic and worse. War is all the galaxy has to offer us.




In the pursuit of victory and survival, and in the name of the Holy Emperor of Mankind, you will – of course – be required to engage in deadly combat with terrifying foes that may well be trying to flay you alive, but that’s no excuse to stoop to their level. When engaging such foes, you are permitted to undertake the following actions:

Shoot the foe. This is not limited to a single las blast or round. You may continue shooting the foe until long after he has fallen, blasting apart his body until nothing remains to threaten the sanctity of the Imperium.

Cut the foe. This can take the form of a stabbing or slashing motion. You may use knives, swords and other implements to remove limbs and maim. You may even impale the foe’s body on a polearm as a warning to others of the fate that awaits them should they stray from the Emperor’s path.

Crush the foe. Whether under the iron might of a Leman Russ battle tank or the bludgeoning blows of a rock, you may mash the foe’s bones and beat him to a bloody pulp.

What you may NOT do is wear any part of the foe. Not even if they are vicious Clawed Fiends, deadly Khymerae, or ferocious Squigs.




An early draft of this week’s informational was circulated among the officers. As is encouraged, one of them raised a good question. Captain* Dzyban wondered if perhaps we were being too stringent. Couldn’t we allow troopers to remove pelts from dead enemy warriors? These hides had already been taken and defiled, what further harm could we cause?

We assure you that, despite what may look like clear evidence to the contrary, further harm can be done by draping yourself in such skins. Others may even mistake your decision as disregarding the uniform policy, seeing it as some sort of fashion choice rather than a simple need for survival. To make certain this rule is followed, you are to strip dead enemies of any pelts and put them to the flame.

In summary, violence is necessary in war, but better to die of the cold than soil your soul by embracing the corrupt or the alien.

Thought for today:
‘Be sound of mind or your argument is lost before it has begun’



* This should be taken as figurative warmth only. Nearly all Munitorum approved uniforms are temperate of climates.
Untrue. Questions are to be discouraged.
* Former rank. The dead have no rank.
Or worse, you may be mistaken for a xenos beast yourself.

posted from Bloggeroid

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